“….Here’s the super secret plan for Thursday night’s LeBronference Call.”
– Mr. James will appear to the music of the Miami Sound Machine while eating a Chicago pan pizza and wearing Drew Carey’s glasses, an I LOVE NY hat and a FREE LINDSAY T-shirt. Interpret that however you want.
– Each prospective team will have a representative on hand, except for the L.A. Clippers, who will send a 17-year-old carrier pigeon named Bonkers McCaskill.
– The Knicks haven’t decided if they will send Walt Frazier, the Naked Cowboy, or best of all, Walt Frazier as the Naked Cowboy.
– Mr. James will only take questions from a preselected group of local children, and kittens.
– All proceeds from the telecast will go to the Boys & Girls Clubs of America. All proceeds thereafter will go to build an insanely good Jet Ski ramp at Mr. James’s mansion.

–From “Ready for the LeBronference Call,” July 8, 2010